After Louis dropped Kaylee off at school, we headed to Katie's to drop Charles off and then over to my appointment. Guess what? NO CHANGE!!! I didn't know whether to cry or scream. The doctor was asking what I wanted to do and Louis calmly insisted on going in to be induced that day. My doctor called the hospital and they said they would call me when they were ready for me. I headed home feeling so frustrated and disappointed. Louis went to work and Charles and I sat around. I gathered a few things and packed the rest of my stuff in my bags. I did some eating, crying and reading. I was just beginning to think that they weren't even going to call me that day and then the phone rings at 2:30 and they tell me to come in by 3pm. I called Tressa and she loaded up and came and I called Louis and Katie. We dropped Charles off to Katie, again and headed to the hospital. Me in tears trying hard to hide it.
Following is the entire story.... read on if you want to, but you don't have to and you have been warned. If you'd like the short story: He was born. (stats, name and pics at the bottom)
The nurse looked at my face and put her arm around me as we walked to my room. I changed and got composed and then the fun began. My nurse, Elise, came in to get my IV going and I lived through that, but only just. I hate IV's they are horrible! She agreed to check me before starting me on pitocin and I was at a 4! Yay!!! So she let me progress. She was super supportive of my wish to go without drugs and was willing to let me patient and try and progress on my own. I got to a 5 and then stalled, so I had to choose between pitocin and having my water broken. Hmm.... would you like a root canal or a crown? How do you make those choices? I chose the pit. She started me on a super low dose of 2 instead of the usual 4. I made it to a 6 or 7 and then I had them break my water rather than uping the pitocin. When they broke my water there was meconium in it. GROSS! I was also a bit worried about the baby at that point, but he was doing well. I was feeling great still and prepared for the contractions to get harder now. In the meantime I read my book (Prayers for Sale by Sandra Dallas) LOVed it! It made me cry, though. So I was ready to laugh. Thank goodness there was a TV in my room. It was the opener of WIPE OUT!!! A two hour special made just for me to help me through two hours of labor! If you have not seen this show, you must. It is hilarious. And, the commercials that night were hand-picked for me, because they were hilarious too! I laughed through most of my labor. It really helped to keep me happy and calm and I noticed I could even laugh through some contractions and it lessened the pain a lot! I made it to a 9.... very slowly. The nurse called in the doctor and we set everything up. By this time the contractions were very hard and getting harder and I was feeling a lot more pressure each time, but never the famous "urge to push" that I hear so much about and have never actually experienced. The whole team was in the room and we sat and waited while I laughed my head off at the TV and all the funny things I was thinking of. I am certain they thought I was crazy, and I am so that is ok. After 30 minutes or so, they gave up and left. I started to get worried. Things were not moving as fast as they should be. This was my third child after all and I shouldn't be taking this long. I started to panic and get frustrated. I was losing control and humor. After two hours of waiting and doing my best to breath through increasingly painful contractions I was a mess. I still hadn't changed. They needed to up the pitocin level. They had to monitor my contractions for intensity by inserting a device and that hurt. Through all this my nurse was so sweet and sat with me for a LONG time. She rubbed my feet, used counter-pressure on my back, encouraged and cheered me on and kept telling me I could do it and it wouldn't be much longer. I think she deserves a HUGE raise. Louis was equally amazing. Holding my hand, doing any crazy thing I requested of him and just telling me what a great job I was doing. My doctor came in a while later and I was a mess. I pleaded with him to just put me out and take the baby and FAST!!! He tried to convince me that I would rather have this baby without surgery and so we needed to first exhaust our options. I wasn't very convinced. He encouraged me to have an epidural and then they could up the pitocin so I wouldn't hurt as much. I was completely torn because I wanted to do this naturally, but I was out of strength. I had lost control and was unable to calm myself down. I worried (based on my study of fear in childbirth) that I was stalling my labor, working against my own body. In fact, each contraction that came felt like the inside was pushing down hard and I was pulling in. No matter what I tried, I could not relax my legs or relax at all during a contraction and very little in between and they were coming faster. I tearfully sort of agreed to an epidural. It took me a while to actually sign the paper and I cried. After the epidural kicked in (and gratefully it kicked in fast) I felt a mix of relief and bitter disappointment. I was drained, but able to lie back and relax and hope that things would happen now. And by the way, my anesthesiologist was amazing too. I sort of tried to pass out at this point. I could hear what was going on, but tried to sleep through it so I didn't get discouraged. They were monitoring the strength of my contractions and continuing to increase the level of pitocin. After an hour or more of monitoring and a pitocin level of 20 it was apparant that I was stuck. My contractions were lessening in intensity and when they checked me I was at an 8. How do you go backwards? I was swelling up. Great. So my doctor gently told me that it was time to go in for surgery. I took it well. I knew it was coming anyway and remembered that just a little while before this I was begging for this very outcome. He left to get ready and a whole crew arrived to get me ready. And as each person told me what they were about to do to help me, I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. I was sure God was punishing me for something. Life just wasn't fair. And to top it all off, Louis wasn't getting his baby boy for his birthday. The day was over. I tried to calm down and find my sense of humor. As they were wheeling me to the operating room, I told them, "This is just like in the movies, but could you do me a favor and run really fast and yell out all kinds of technical jargon about what's happening, it would feel more real then." That was as far as I made it because as we entered the room, I got so scared. I was afraid before, but now it was real and it was there and I was going to be awake for it. Scared me to death. Louis stayed right there with me and I was so grateful for him. It was a very terrifying and odd experience. I admit that when they held up the baby I was conflicted. I was relieved he was born, but at the same time I was upset that he had caused so much trouble. I couldn't hold him because I was shaking so badly from the medication and I was secretly glad because I was upset. As they were cleaning things up, my doctor found something. I had a dermoid in my right ovary. It was the size of a softball. That is what was keeping the baby from dropping. It was in the way and his head couldn't get past. He told us that it was most likely benign based on the type of tumor it was and so he took it out and they stitched me up. Although I was terribly worn out, still in tears and frustrated, once I learned about the tumor, I was relieved. I had a reason for all the pain and suffering. There was a purpose to it. I would've ended up in surgery anyway and at least this was a two-for-one deal and I had a cute baby to help console me. I also found an explanation for the horrible pain I had been dealing with since January. I wasn't crazy! There was something wrong inside. Phew. Validation is wonderful.
The nurse looked at my face and put her arm around me as we walked to my room. I changed and got composed and then the fun began. My nurse, Elise, came in to get my IV going and I lived through that, but only just. I hate IV's they are horrible! She agreed to check me before starting me on pitocin and I was at a 4! Yay!!! So she let me progress. She was super supportive of my wish to go without drugs and was willing to let me patient and try and progress on my own. I got to a 5 and then stalled, so I had to choose between pitocin and having my water broken. Hmm.... would you like a root canal or a crown? How do you make those choices? I chose the pit. She started me on a super low dose of 2 instead of the usual 4. I made it to a 6 or 7 and then I had them break my water rather than uping the pitocin. When they broke my water there was meconium in it. GROSS! I was also a bit worried about the baby at that point, but he was doing well. I was feeling great still and prepared for the contractions to get harder now. In the meantime I read my book (Prayers for Sale by Sandra Dallas) LOVed it! It made me cry, though. So I was ready to laugh. Thank goodness there was a TV in my room. It was the opener of WIPE OUT!!! A two hour special made just for me to help me through two hours of labor! If you have not seen this show, you must. It is hilarious. And, the commercials that night were hand-picked for me, because they were hilarious too! I laughed through most of my labor. It really helped to keep me happy and calm and I noticed I could even laugh through some contractions and it lessened the pain a lot! I made it to a 9.... very slowly. The nurse called in the doctor and we set everything up. By this time the contractions were very hard and getting harder and I was feeling a lot more pressure each time, but never the famous "urge to push" that I hear so much about and have never actually experienced. The whole team was in the room and we sat and waited while I laughed my head off at the TV and all the funny things I was thinking of. I am certain they thought I was crazy, and I am so that is ok. After 30 minutes or so, they gave up and left. I started to get worried. Things were not moving as fast as they should be. This was my third child after all and I shouldn't be taking this long. I started to panic and get frustrated. I was losing control and humor. After two hours of waiting and doing my best to breath through increasingly painful contractions I was a mess. I still hadn't changed. They needed to up the pitocin level. They had to monitor my contractions for intensity by inserting a device and that hurt. Through all this my nurse was so sweet and sat with me for a LONG time. She rubbed my feet, used counter-pressure on my back, encouraged and cheered me on and kept telling me I could do it and it wouldn't be much longer. I think she deserves a HUGE raise. Louis was equally amazing. Holding my hand, doing any crazy thing I requested of him and just telling me what a great job I was doing. My doctor came in a while later and I was a mess. I pleaded with him to just put me out and take the baby and FAST!!! He tried to convince me that I would rather have this baby without surgery and so we needed to first exhaust our options. I wasn't very convinced. He encouraged me to have an epidural and then they could up the pitocin so I wouldn't hurt as much. I was completely torn because I wanted to do this naturally, but I was out of strength. I had lost control and was unable to calm myself down. I worried (based on my study of fear in childbirth) that I was stalling my labor, working against my own body. In fact, each contraction that came felt like the inside was pushing down hard and I was pulling in. No matter what I tried, I could not relax my legs or relax at all during a contraction and very little in between and they were coming faster. I tearfully sort of agreed to an epidural. It took me a while to actually sign the paper and I cried. After the epidural kicked in (and gratefully it kicked in fast) I felt a mix of relief and bitter disappointment. I was drained, but able to lie back and relax and hope that things would happen now. And by the way, my anesthesiologist was amazing too. I sort of tried to pass out at this point. I could hear what was going on, but tried to sleep through it so I didn't get discouraged. They were monitoring the strength of my contractions and continuing to increase the level of pitocin. After an hour or more of monitoring and a pitocin level of 20 it was apparant that I was stuck. My contractions were lessening in intensity and when they checked me I was at an 8. How do you go backwards? I was swelling up. Great. So my doctor gently told me that it was time to go in for surgery. I took it well. I knew it was coming anyway and remembered that just a little while before this I was begging for this very outcome. He left to get ready and a whole crew arrived to get me ready. And as each person told me what they were about to do to help me, I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. I was sure God was punishing me for something. Life just wasn't fair. And to top it all off, Louis wasn't getting his baby boy for his birthday. The day was over. I tried to calm down and find my sense of humor. As they were wheeling me to the operating room, I told them, "This is just like in the movies, but could you do me a favor and run really fast and yell out all kinds of technical jargon about what's happening, it would feel more real then." That was as far as I made it because as we entered the room, I got so scared. I was afraid before, but now it was real and it was there and I was going to be awake for it. Scared me to death. Louis stayed right there with me and I was so grateful for him. It was a very terrifying and odd experience. I admit that when they held up the baby I was conflicted. I was relieved he was born, but at the same time I was upset that he had caused so much trouble. I couldn't hold him because I was shaking so badly from the medication and I was secretly glad because I was upset. As they were cleaning things up, my doctor found something. I had a dermoid in my right ovary. It was the size of a softball. That is what was keeping the baby from dropping. It was in the way and his head couldn't get past. He told us that it was most likely benign based on the type of tumor it was and so he took it out and they stitched me up. Although I was terribly worn out, still in tears and frustrated, once I learned about the tumor, I was relieved. I had a reason for all the pain and suffering. There was a purpose to it. I would've ended up in surgery anyway and at least this was a two-for-one deal and I had a cute baby to help console me. I also found an explanation for the horrible pain I had been dealing with since January. I wasn't crazy! There was something wrong inside. Phew. Validation is wonderful.
So that is long of it. Following are the cutest pictures you've ever seen (except the ones featuring me) so be prepared!!!
Introducing Caleb Todd Koberstein born June 2nd @ 1:52am. 8lbs. 10oz. 21"
Introducing Caleb Todd Koberstein born June 2nd @ 1:52am. 8lbs. 10oz. 21"
We got to open presents with the kids Wednesday morning before Kaylee went to school.
I can't believe I've included these awful pics of me... but I wanted to show the huge day to day difference! It's amazing how much better I have gotten each day. Ignore the big tummy. Charles said to me, "I thought you had the baby. Why is your tummy still big?" Thanks, Charles.
My little duck!!!
Going home.... Finally!
I was holding Caleb at the hospital and my brother was reading off names while everyone voted and discussed and I liked it. Looking up the meaning it said "faith, devotion, whole-hearted" and it referenced Caleb from the Old Testament. He was the one who came and gave a positive report of the land of Canaan. It said, "powers of observation and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds." It just kinda struck me. It fits him, even though it is taking a while for us all to get used to calling him by a name! Todd is after my dad. Now my boys have the same initials (CTK) and are each named after a grandfather. Charles hated the name Caleb. He continued to insist on Morgan. I wanted Kaleb, and so to help him feel like he had a say, we let him decide on the spelling. Whether or not they would share initials, so he wanted to share initials. We now have to buy two fish, so Charles can name one Morgan. I hope he forgets before we go buy them!
24 comments:
He is adorable! And now we need to get together!! Can't wait!
Your sense of humor through it all is amazing! I think I'd have lost it long before you did. :) Congrats! Caleb is adorable!!
You are such a trooper and you dont have to feel bad for crying!! I did too, and the doctor asked me if I was in pain and I said no, Im just so happy! I know its a different kind of cry but so many overwhelming feelings can hit you at once, specially in a more difficult situation. Im so glad you are home and you are not in pain anymore! He is precious truly! Wish I could give you and the baby a hug!
"It's not a tumah!" Oh - I'm sorry sorry that it was a rough delivery, but I'm really glad he's here and the doctor found that thing - what's a dermoid? I'm so happy for you and feeling sorry for myself because I can't be there to hold him and take him for a few hours so you can take a nap or get a shower. I always wanted to return the favor.
I LOVE his name. I think it's important that a name has meaning. Besides - I think it fits that cute little guy.
Oh, and I was going to say how pretty I think you look in the pictures, but I knew you wouldn't believe me - so get this: Chris came downstairs and saw your pics and said, "Is that Camille? She looks really good!" So there. I'm not biased :)
Congratulations!! He is sure adorable and you are amazing!
oh my word. bless your heart. its a good thing he's so adorable, because getting him here didn't sound like much fun. ha ha. congrats on your adorable little being. and seriously, you look good.
dan and i ran in the wx memorial day 5k and we both remarked on how funny it was that we expected to see you there when we remember you were 9 months pregnant. so, no go. ha ha. next year?
Congrats! What a little cutie! And good thing, especially since he decided to take his precious time getting here (you are a saint, by the way, putting up with that ... I would have given up MUCH sooner). You look amazing! Enjoy your precious new baby!
I'm sitting her sobbing right now!!! (Even for mos after the baby I'm STILL emotional) That was beautiful! You are amazing! Your baby is BEAUTIFUL and I am SO SO SO proud of you! I freakin love you!!! Congrats!
He is adorable! You are truly a saint, and I am so happy that everything worked out. Happy Birthday Louis! I am so glad they figured out the problem, and I hope your recovery is speedy!!!
I'm sitting her sobbing right now!!! (Even 4 mos after the baby I'm STILL emotional) That was beautiful! You are amazing! Your baby is BEAUTIFUL and I am SO SO SO proud of you! I freakin love you!!! Congrats!
You look awesome! You have the cutest family and your new one is just too perfect!!! I love the name Caleb! What a trip! I am so glad you guys are doing well and I hope your recovery is fast! Wish I could be there to kiss the little guy and give you a big hug!! CONGRATS!!!
I just love the last three posts, especially this one of course. I am so proud of you for putting pictures of yourself on her, you are GORGEOUS, so there are no worries. He is adorable! What a cute little family you are- wait, did I say little, you're family is as big as mine now!!!
He is a doll! Congrats Camille! You are amazing. And don't worry about the crying...I broke down into the "ugly cry" when I had Brooklyn. Good thing my sis-in law was my nurse, so it wasn't too bad. She gave me a big hug and made me not feel so dumb. Glad you had awesome nurses too!!
Miss seeing you and your cute family at church!
he is so cute! and looks so much like charles. and you look fantastic...especially after what you just went through. mymom just told me about it yesterday before you posted this. just wanted you to know i was thinking of you. here is to a quick recovery!
Wow, great pictures! He is so cute, and the pics with him and Kaylee and Charles...awesome. I'm glad everything is over and everyone is happy and healthy. As soon as you're up for visitors, let me know.
Glad he is finally here and adorable to boot! Congratulations!!!!
Glad everything turned out alright! Sounds similar to my first experience! Makes you really appreciate your little ones! (PS. Your not the only one who has to wait to hold their babies. I went into shock and was so shaky I couldn't hold Eli for almost an hour, Spencer was more like a half hour)
Congratulations! I am so glad it all turned out well in the end. What a cutie! I love your haircut by the way, super cute!
Congratulations on your sweet baby boy! He is adorable and I love the name! What a crazy experience you had with labor and delivery (and then finding a huge dermoid)! I'm glad that all turned out well-that's he's doing good and you too now. Good luck with recovery. You look great in the pics! When you need some nap time with the baby let me know and your kids can come play over here.
You're so amazing. I hope we can see you when we come out in July!
Congratulations! And by the way you are amazing. I am proud of you and am glad that they were able to find and remove the tumor. That is incredible. Hope you can continue to recover well. Good luck.
First off, Congrads! Caleb is the cutest little duck I've ever seen! He's a big boy! I love his name. Caleb was one of the top 4 names we were thinking of for Cooper, but it was way too close to "Cadence" for us. Next, I'm so sorry to hear about all the complications. Surgery is no fun! And the tumor, bummer! Get that junk out of you!!!! Glad to hear that everything is ok and that you both are alive and well. I'm glad he finally came!!!
I swear! I looked at your blog just a few days ago and NO baby yet. But good greif, this post is almost a month old! Where did the time go and how did I miss this?! Congratulations, such a cute little duck. Not fun to have to do it c-section, but so glad everything went well.
Oh Camille, What a story!! I am so glad you are ok! And so glad you got that validation! I can't imagine how much of a relief that is! Oh and Wipe Out is hilarious!
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