A Walk to Remember

This being the first day of the year, I resolved to start exercising again. I didn't want to throw my body into shock, so I decided on a real cushy goal. Twenty minutes each day of some form of exercise. This way I can really do it EVERY day, even Sundays. Our family usually goes on a walk together on Sundays and I will keep myself moving, even slowly as it is, during the ENTIRE year. Today, we bundled up (it really was pretty warm minus the wind) and went for more than twenty minutes! Yay for a perfect day of goal keeping. As we walked I somehow got behind everyone else. I looked up and almost fell over, and not because of the ice. There was Kaylee running along climbing over every hill of snow and Charles stopping every few feet to grab a snowball. They were HUGE! I know they don't eat many veggies, so how on earth did they get so big and tall??? It almost brought tears to my eyes to look and see my babies, and realize that they are so grown up. I felt robbed. Where was Father Time anyway? Probably hiding somewhere so he didn't have to face me and tell me what he had done. He stepped right in and stole those precious years away from me!!! What right does he have to do that?!?!
Oh, wait! Here he comes with his defense.... "But, I thought that's what you WANTED! How often did we all hear you tell us that you wished they were older? Bigger? Better able to entertain themselves, to take care of themselves? I did you a favor! You should be THANKING me!!!" He's right, you know. I did say all of those things. I wished for it. Life has a funny way of giving you just what you want, right as you realize you don't want what you thought. What would I give to have my kids be babies again. Only for a moment. To hold them as brand new precious, perfect infants fresh from Heaven. That is one of the most inspiring feelings in the world. I've never felt more capable of being a good mom. I would tell myself there is no way in the world I could ever be mad at this perfect little being. If only I could remember that when that perfect little being is wiping peanut butter on my pants, or spilling milk across my freshly scrubbed floor. Or fighting with her brother, or telling me they hate me.... I must suffer from short-term memory loss. As much as I long to have them small and swaddled in my arms again, I admit that I am so excited to watch them keep growing. They are doing so many fun things and learning so much. Kaylee is beginning to read! Charles is going to go to preschool in the fall! I don't want to stop any of that. I guess you can't have your kids and raise them too. You have to let them grow up and just savor each moment as it happens. I wish I'd had my camera to catch the view I had. A tall, slender, almost six year old girl walking with her tall, stocky three and a half year old brother. What a walk to remember.